brigtoon’s Neighborhood

Doubt and mistrust are the mere panic of a timid imagination, which the steadfast heart will conquer and the large mind transcend. - Helen Keller

Entering into this long darkness of winter, it's important to remember to be steadfast.

it's raining out, and i'm watching "benji the hunted".

WHY am i doing this to myself...on a saturday afternoon?!

while the beds are burning ?...

I've spent a lot of time on my blog and other places online talking about Ed and Fru. I was thinking about it a while ago and I realized that I rarely ever come out and talk about just Isis, even though she's a huge part of my life. In the last year or so, she's played an even bigger role in my happiness.

When I first got Ed and Isis, I remember being disappointed about how unattached I felt with them. I wrote a blog post about it here and I got a lot of great feedback about how loving pets can take time sometimes; it's not always instantaneous. Everyone who said that was right and I'm really thankful for their help. Isis is one of those kitties that took a while to warm up to me-- much longer than Ed. And in all honesty, the wait was completely worth it.

Isis: Face On

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Shawn, Beth, and I noticed that there was something a little "off" about Isis when she first came to live with us. She was terrified of everything. Even for a kitty, the horror in her eyes every time someone walked past her seemed excessive. We all watched her carefully and then came to the conclusion that she was most likely abused by one of her previous owners. As far as we knew, she had at least two previous owners, but there could have been more. The way she ran away from people and ducked her head whenever anyone would make any quick movements made me feel like she had once been struck by someone-- most likely a male since she's always had a greater fear with them. I know that not all kitties are warm and cuddly (I've been around a lot of cats in my life), but the feeling I got when I saw the fear in Isis' eyes told me something extremely bad happened to her in her past. Knowing this made me determined to help her feel comfortable in her new life.

I first started noticing a change in Isis when I took her (and Ed) to the vet for a checkup about two years ago. Ed was pretty calm, but as usual, Isis was terrified. I gently picked her up and held her the entire time she was there. It was the first memory I have of her clinging to me because she felt protected and safe in my arms. I remember how I couldn't stop smiling. Shawn even mentioned that Isis and I were having a "bonding experience." Ever since that day, I've felt a deep connection with Isis.

Isis, Reaching Out

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Since then, she's been slowly becoming more loving. I took advantage of that change and started to "work" with her more often. When she was really young, she wouldn't let anyone hold her and would claw her way out of a person's arms. (I have a scar to prove it.) I decided to take baby steps with Isis to help her understand that being held was a good thing. Every day, I would slowly pick her up and take her over to a window where we could watch the streets outside. I would talk to her in a very soft, soothing voice (very non-threatening) so she knew that I was still there with her. I figured that the movements on the steets would distract her enough so she wouldn't concentrate on the fact that I was holding her. Sure enough, Isis became used to being held by me. After a while, I was able to hold her for an infinite amount of time. In fact, I'd have to say that she now gets sad when I have to put her back on the floor after holding her.

These days, Isis is very relaxed. She's still afraid of almost all strangers (like a lot of kitties are), and most men. However, her attitude and mannerisms have changed to an enourmous extent with the people she's familiar and comfortable with. Isis no longer runs away when people are walking towards her. She doesn't duck her head quickly if people around her are moving their arms or moving objects around her. When Shawn and I walk in the door after being out for a few hours, she stays asleep in her kitty bed in the main room. If anything, she might look up at us to acknowledge our presence... but she doesn't run to a hiding place.

Sleepy Time

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Whenever I'm asleep and Isis sees me curled up under my comforter and another very soft blanket I always use, she hops up on top of my stomach and falls asleep there. A few days ago, I woke up and was able to get off the couch without waking her up-- she stayed in the same spot, sleeping, for over ten hours! Most of the time, she's purring happily whever she's sleeping. And if I don't cuddle with her in the morning, which has become a routine for the two of us, she comes up to me later in the day and gives me sad mews to let me know she wants some cuddles.

Having two kitties who are so different from each other is amazing. Ed is friendly with everyone and is very sociable. Isis has grown into a kitty who chooses who to love, and if you're chosen, you feel like you are the most important person in the world. That's exactly how I feel whenever I'm with her. It was difficult for a long time for me to grasp the idea of Isis being calm and loving, but seeing her so happy every day has made her overall happiness a normality. I couldn't be more grateful for her and the fact that she's overcome whatever pain she experienced in the past. Her ability to move on and be happy has made me happy.

Whoa, doggies. So much snow here in Flagstaff. 26" last count. That means loads of shoveling and lots of toasty beverages.

big, fat 26" of snow in Flagstaff

I am considering entering the Mail Me Art competition (http://mailmeart.com/going-postal/submit-mail-art/), so I've been dabbling again in (EEK) acrylics. Been a long time since I've tried that medium. What's interesting is that my hand is applying watercolor techniques with acrylics... and I'm digging it. We'll see what happens. It's all school to me - all the foibles and weird experiments are so much fun, and since I can't be in college right now - THIS is my college. Or, maybe this is my built-in excuse for making a lot of tragic painting mistakes, the ones that I can't even stand to look at. Haha.

maybe Mail Me Art?

This next piece is tres' exciting.  A completed commission for an incredible family. It is my first portrait - a surreal and joyful one. I really enjoyed working on this.

"Visage of heartful wandering"

Feel your day, whatever it brings.
~C

where the heck is my christmas spirit?
i haven't decorated or put up a my little tree.
this sucks.

Tamazula

Here I am. House smells of stir fry and so do my clothes. I'm jonesing for some rice tea. I've had a crazy fixation on hot sauce lately and consumed one two bottles of Tamazula this week all by myself. Not sure why. My little boy was super wild today and I'm not sure why that is either. I'm about to start a sci-fi book called The Child Garden. I hear my little town will be covered in a couple feet of snow tomorrow. Wheeeee! There's a good chance I will be sledding on Tuesday. I wish for more time than I have. I don't hardly ever wish a day will go by fast. Not even the bad ones. Well, maybe the really bad ones.

yay, snow!

I've had a lot of characters flitting about upstairs in my mind. Here are just a few.

sketch for Illustration Friday's "Crunchy", #1

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The one above is for Illustration Friday's topic: Crunchy.  Funny, huh?

sketches from december 4th #2

sketches from december 4th #3

I'll redo the one above and give them both feet next time. My thumbnail box got too small! Meanwhile, I just finished a commission, but I will have to wait to include it in my next post. Sorry! I have another VERY large one I am working on right now too, so maybe I'll include it too.

I just watched The Princess Bride, directed by Rob Reiner, again this week. Saw it when I was a teenager. Still one of the most wonderful films and utterly quotable! IF per chance you've never seen it... then add it to your Netflix cue or whatever. You'll love it. You can even see it with the kiddies.

Princess bride